All Bots Are Gray in the Dark
by Red Wasabi
Summary: “With a step more confident then he felt Starscream walked out of the Decepticon base and shot off in to the sky. He was going to do it again. He couldn't stop, he was addicted to him. He hated him but he couldn't walk away.” Starscream POV
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** All Cats Are Gray in the Dark

**Author:**Red Wasabi

**Disclaimer:**Ain't mine.

**Notes:** Starscream/Red Alert/grugdefuck Wow, so that's a interesting pairing, This will be a two part fic, the other part will be from Red Alert's POV. This one is Starscream's POV.

**Rating:** R

"With a step more confident then he felt Starscream walked out of the Decepticon base and shot off in to the sky. He was going to do it again. He couldn't stop, he was addicted to him. He hated him; but he couldn't walk away."

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He couldn't keep doing this, it was wrong, twisted. If any bot found out where he had been going and what he had been doing—it would be the end for him. Megatron had allowed a thousand acts of treason to slip by, but this—Starscream knew that if he found out about this, that would be the end of it all.

With a step more confident then he felt Starscream walked out of the Decepticon's base and shot off in to red waning light of the evening the sky. He was going to do it again. He couldn't stop, he was addicted to him. He hated him; but he couldn't walk away.

If some bot had told Starscream a vorn ago that he would have an Autobot lover, he would have laughed hysterically—then he would have permanently offlined them. Here he was though, in the middle of no where preparing to connect sparks again with his Autobot lover.

A shudder went through him,'_No, not my lover..._' As he touched down to earth they exchanged the only sign of acknowledgment the other bot would permanent. A brief flash of optics, one pair angry and lustful, the other distant and confused. Then suddenly bot in question grabbed Starscream in a rough embrace and began to harshly caress him. Almost regretfully Starscream's optics flickered off, their routine never changed. Only Starscream had.

There was no time for Starscream to protest as the bot brutally pushed him to the ground and climbed on top of him. Agile digits quickly found the most sensitive wires and nodes; rubbing and teasing them mercilessly. Starscream bit back a moan as his spark chamber began to open up and expose itself to heavily panting bot a top him. This was the part he hated—loved the most. The part when they connected in a flurried of mix of passion, lust anger, and on his part—love.

The bot rammed up against Starscream as the energy pulses became harder and longer. Soon they would reach overload and the spark locking process would be complete, desperately Starscream tried to hold off. Starscream unwillingly looked up at the bot above him, his face contorted in pleasure. Just a few more breems like this and he could walk away from _this forever_. He just needed _this_ to last a little _longer_.

Starscream's frame began to violently shake and twitch in time with the other bot. The bot savagely moaned as he thrust halfheartedly into Starscream's frame ignoring the small whimpers. Starscream clung frantically closer to the bot on top of him.

Oh Primus how Starscream hated him. He hated the way he made it so easy for him to come into overload.

Slowly the bot began to get up, disentangling himself from Starscream's limbs. He hated the way the bot made treason so easy for him.

Without a glance down at Starscream who still lay panting on the ground the bot turned and began to walk away.

He hated the way he would never look at him as the connected sparks—or after; and Primus he hated the way he made him feel.

Joors had passed since his hurried spark locking with his '_lover_', and Starscream still lay in the same spot. His optics turned up towards the now much lighter sky. He hated to love him most all, but since he couldn't seem to stop, he'd settle for just hating himself for now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Kill (Figuratively)for Optimus

**Author:**Red Wasabi

**Disclaimer:** If wishes were fishes, I'd have a lot of catfish for dinner and I'd own this; but I don't have either.

**Notes:** Red Alert/Starscream/tiny vessels This is the sequel to All Bot's Are Gray in the Dark. Red Alert's POV, And I totally didn't know when I wrote this that there was a following for these two as a pairing! Go figure!

**Rating:** R(to be safe)

"Every bot had to pull their weight during war times; Wheeljack created, The Twins fought, Optimus lead, and he, he broke things."

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Red Alert believed in the Autobot's cause; he believed in it with all his spark. That's why he had to do this. Every bot had to pull their weight during war times; Wheeljack created, The Twins fought, Optimus lead, and he, he broke things.

Slowly Red Alert pulled up to their designated rendezvous point. He transformed and began to causal search the sky for his—Red Alert's optics flickered slightly, they weren't lovers. They could never be lovers; lovers were something warm and soft. It was a word that was delicate, that meant soft touches, and quiet endearments. Red Alert couldn't allow any of that to happen between them. No, Starscream was more like his...He was...his test subject, yes that was a better word.

Red Alert ignored the guilty pulse in his spark at that thought. Of course test subject was the best way to describe Starscream, after all this was a personal experiment of his to see how long it would take for a Deception's spirit to break; nothing more.

He was aware that if any of his comrades found the truth behind his nighttime security checks he'd be labeled a traitor, subjected to serious psychological tests, and in the end, probably offlined. He knew this because that's what he would do to another bot if they were in his place and he in theirs; but the knowledge of what might happen to him was irrelevant. He was doing this for the greater good, for the eventual victory of the Autobot cause; and if any bot wanted to say otherwise he would just show them his data.

Red Alert was shaken from his thoughts as the familiar sound of rocket thrusters came closer and began to descend. Carefully Red Alert logged Starscream's posture and expression away for later analysis.

'_Test: 26; Subject: Starscream; Affiliation: Deception._' He began coding a memory file of their interactions together as soon as Starscream's pedes touched down on to the dusty earth, it was time to begin.

He had long since memorized the sensitive contours of Starscream's frame. Red Alert knew exactly how and where to touch him; where to add pressure and where to lessen it. It was almost like a game, seeing how long he could make Starscream's desperate moans and throaty groans last before he couldn't stand it any longer and he began to beg for release.

It was a game that Red Alert ashamedly enjoyed, he had tired once before to get through with out getting anything form it; but had found that he couldn't. He always found himself whether he wanted to or not, panting and moaning in time with the enemy below him.

He hated his lack of control, hated the way he couldn't help but feel something when they were in the throes of passion together. He hated the way Starscream's face would distort in the middle of it all, and instead of seeing a harsh enemy who meant nothing to him, he would see something indescribably beautiful. But what he hate the most was how Starscream's optics would desperately search for his as they reached overload.

Oh Primus, the temptation to stare into those eyes and nothing else was the most tempting thing he had ever known; but that meant getting attached—more then he already was. Red Alert couldn't—wouldn't allow that to happen. It had to remain impersonal, it was better that way. He could study their enemy up close,under the guise of a lover. He would learn how to break a Deception's spirit. Which would help the Autobot cause in the long run. And that's what really mattered to him, he was _certain_.

A billion thoughts that would never be uttered burst into his mind as he reached overload with Starscream. Dazed Red Alert lay panting on top of Starscream's form, for this brief moment he would allow himself to pretend. To believe that what had just happened wasn't just his duty, to help win the war at any costs; that it wasn't illicit, dirty or cheap. That it had meant something; and for a moment he thought he actually believed that, but then all to quickly it passed and he knew what he had to do.

Coldly Red Alert lifted himself off the still figure beneath him, making sure to avoid the pair of almost pleading red optics that shined at him. Silently he began to code all the information gathered from the night's experiment. He could feel the optics of his...test subject. Burn holes into his back as he moved away. It took everything in him to not take one last look at the prone figure still laying in the same position he'd left him in.

He was beautiful, but he couldn't mean a thing to him.


End file.
